If you were anything like me, the emotional rollercoaster that I experienced after watching the Iyanla: Fix My Life over the weekend was unreal. If you haven’t had an opportunity to catch the two-part series premier of Iyanla Vanzant’s new show on the OWN Network you missed two episodes that had a little something for everyone. While the show focused on the trails and tribulations of Basketball Wives reality star and estranged wife of NFL player Chad Johnson, Evelyn Lozada, if you are single, married, divorced, widowed, everyone could take something away from the show – and I think Evelyn did too, in a small way.
Hold up. I’m not saying that I’m jumping on the Evelyn Lozada bandwagon. What I am saying is that I do believe that there were moments, where Iyanla was getting through to Evelyn. During the two hours I did feel that many parts were scripted and Evelyn was there to just make an appearance to only say that she did it. I was happy to know that this process with Iyanla started before the head-butting incident occurred with Chad johnson which ended her 39-day. Part one seemed more about opening up and trying to find the root of the her issues, and part 2 (taped after she had filed for divorce) seemed to be about just being present, not really connecting to the help and advice that Iyanla was offering.
As we discovered during the two hours, Evelyn is a woman who is caught-up in the “celebrity” lifestyle and will hold on to that lifestyle–at any cost. Lozada pointed out that one of her biggest fears was “losing it all” alluding to the fact that she would no longer be relevant when “Basketball Wives” ends and her fame and steady income begin to dissipate. On another occasion, Iyanla pointed out the abuse that Evelyn evokes on women day in and day out on Basketball Wives as a “thug” was nothing short of her cowardly way of being an adult and handling life’s problems. She later explains that it’s easier to bully a woman than a man.
When Iyanla asked Evelyn what finally made her wake-up, Lozada responded by saying it was the mark that he put on her face when he head-butted her. Iyanla came back and asked why did it have to be the visible scars that made you wake-up when he had been placing scars on you emotionally since day one.
Do I believe that Lozada had what OWN creator, Oprah Winfrey calls an “Ahh Moment”? Unfortunately no, but some parts of me hope that she looks back on the show and says that she’s got to make a change.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, she has to put in the work to change. Showing me a therapy session isn’t going to convince me. The true evidence of change will be in her behavior. I am interested to how she is now going to portray herself in the reality series, Basketball Wives.
If you missed part 1 and/or 2, tune into OWN on Tuesday evening, September 18th starting at 8pm ET.
Your Jersey Girlfriend,