Jersey Girl Sports fans, after this week’s episode of Basketball Wives L.A. all the talk has been about Andraya Howard, a.k.a. “Draya”.  On this week’s episode, she was confronted by the other women about her parental neglect. She was allegedly arrested for leaving her son unattended for days in an apartment with feces and filth with nothing to eat but frozen microwave meals while she was out gallivanting with then boyfriend, Chris Brown. Of course Draya claimed the information was false and her son has always been taken care of. The women berated her, and Draya—poor Draya cried and cried trying to defend and explain herself to women who don’t care about her. Instead of leaving, which is what normal, intelligent women would do, she stayed. So, my advice to Draya is simple:

Put your big girl panties on!

This message is not just for Draya but for any woman in this type of situation. While most of you don’t live in this type of crazy scripted ghetto-drama, this advice would serve you well.

Whether you’re in Corporate America or in your professional or social circles, you have been in situations where you have been judged, criticized and/or disliked for merely showing up. It could be the way you look, your talent, skills, successes or power that aggravates the insecure, narcissistic, jealous, and just plain miserable people who look for any reason to hate you. While Draya could leave this craziness, sometimes walking away from these circles or groups is not that easy.


So if you, like Draya find yourself in the midst of the wolves, you need to step up your game and play to win. Understand that if your mere presence has an effect on someone, you hold the power. Embrace it. Use it. Stop caring about them. They don’t matter—you do! They are not going to like you no matter what you do, so enjoy being the fabulous you. This is real-world advice.

Let’s get back to Draya.

While it would be nice to see at least one woman come full circle into real womanhood, that’s not what this show is about. So my dear, sweet, misguided, disillusioned Draya you need to get some thicker skin and spend some of that pole money on a little intelligence.

Draya, no one sympathizes with you. No one considers you a victim of the “mean girls”.  Actually, since you decided to stay and participate in the drama, we expect you to ‘woman up’ and, yeah, grow up too!

You’ve made a choice to participate in this show—to stay in it.

This is your reality.

Jersey Girl Sports fans, what’s your advice to Draya?

Your JGF,

~Angela Davis