Ladies unless you have been living under that pile Jimmy Choo’s that are in your closet, this Sunday is Super Bowl XLIV (44 for those of you who missed roman numerals in math class 6th grade).  Since the launch of Jersey Girl, we have educated you, informed you, and empowered you on the great game of sports; now it’s time to do Mamma proud and be the wiz that we know you can be on Sunday. So to help you out, here’s a little cheat sheet to help you get through the day. From celeb-loving players to tight ends in tight pants, all you need to know about this year’s game.

WHO: the Indianapolis Colts (they wear blue and white)
  the New Orleans Saints (they wear gold and black)
WHERE: Sun Life Stadium in Miami gardens, Florida
WHEN: February 7th (this Sunday). Kickoff at 6:25 pm EST on CBS.

Play on Playas:

  A four-time MVP recipient, 33-year-old Peyton is arguably one of the best quarterbacks of all time. Sure he holds the NFL record for consecutive seasons with over 4,000 yards passing and was named fox sport’s player of the decade, but what you should really know about him is his equally cuddly and goofy charm. An extremely marketable person, Peyton has appeared in ads for Sony, Gatorade and Sprint and even voiced a character for the Simpsons, along with brothers Cooper and Eli (Super Bowl XLII MVP and quarterback for the New York Giants). Funny enough, his dad, NFL quarterback Archie Manning, made his debut in 1971 for the New Orleans Saints.
Peyton Manning #18
  Last year, Indianapolis guard Kyle DeVan wasn’t thinking about Super Bowl rings or champagne celebrations—the 24 year old was thinking of ways to get some kids to listen to him as a substitute teacher. The 6’2″, 306-pound guard played briefly with the Washington Redskins and New York Jets, but when bills started piling up he knew he needed to find a way to make some money. Still, he loved the game and soon got the opportunity to play arena football with the Boise Burn. As chance would have it, the Colts noticed his moves and DeVan was soon moved to the active roster. His next assignment? Protecting QB Peyton Manning.
Kyle DeVan #66
  Boyfriend of Kim Kardashian. Oh, and he also won the Heisman  Trophy in 2005 while playing for USC. A running back for the New Orleans Saints, Bush is regarded well both on and off the field. Second to Peyton Manning in NFL endorsement deals, the 24-year-old player has hawked Pepsi, GM and Adidas products. In addition to his big contributions with the Saints (he rushed for 390 yards, catching 47 passes for 335 yards), one can say he’s an actual saint as well. Touched by his warm reception to New Orleans in 2006, Bush donated $50,000 to keep Holy Rosary High School open, a local Catholic school for students with learning disabilities. Plus his abs aren’t bad, either.
Reggie Bush #25
  A wide receiver for the Colts, Baskett is probably best known to the ladies as the husband of The Girl’s Next Door Kendra Wilkinson. The adorable 27 year old has proven to be a doting hubby on his wife’s eponymous reality show, despite a less-than-stellar showing on the field. But for a man willing to put up with the shenanigans of Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend, he’s OK in our book.
Hank Baskett, III #81
  He may not have a celeb girlfriend or major endorsement deals, but Shockey has lived up to his name. Known for his brash comments, the longtime tight end for the New York Giants was traded to the New Orleans Saints in 2008 after some problems with the players and his coach. Eager to play with quarterback Drew Brees (#9), Shockey had a tepid start and an injury which had him on the bench for five weeks. But he proved an asset in the playoff game against the Cardinals, helping the saints clinch their first Super Bowl appearance. He is also very patriotic, as evidenced by the large tattoo on his right bicep that incorporates American symbols like the stars and stripes and a bald eagle.
Jeremy Shockey #88

Ad it up:

Let’s be honest, though you may fake enthusiasm for the game, it’s about the ads. Regulars like GM and Pepsi-Cola opted out, but there are still a total of 62 commercials airing, each of which paid $2.5-$3 million for a mere 30 seconds. Budweiser came in as the top advertiser with a full five minutes, and although ad rates dropped for only the second time in the history of the game (this year’s sales were $200 million versus $261 million for super bowl XLIII), there’s still a lot to look forward to:

Stirring up some controversy, focus on the family (a Christian advocacy group) has secured a spot. It features Tim Tebow, the Heisman trophy winner, and his mother, Pam, discussing her decision against having an abortion while pregnant with Tim. Tune in to see why some women’s groups are up in arms.
Sex sells, but apparently not when it involves the same sex. Gay dating site was rejected by CBS for the five-second make-out session between two men whose affection blossoms over football and a bowl of chips. Want to see the comedic skit for yourself? Check it out on the mancrunch site.
The ever-present Pepsi-Cola ads of years past have pulled out of Super Bowl ad mania to concentrate funds on their “refresh project,” which leaves Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper as the soft drink champs this season.
Vote for your fave ads. both Doritos and Budweiser want you to choose the winners that end up on air during the big game. Doritos taps customers who produced their own commercials, while Budweiser lets you vote for your favorite of three ads on FaceBook.
After the rejection of its Lola commercial, which featured an effeminate man who hits the jackpot by launching a lingerie line, GoDaddy gets suggestive with spokeswoman race car driver Danica Patrick again. Two guys search for their dream girl on go daddy’s search engine and Danica flashes across the screen, while sexily spoofing ‘80s movies like Flashdance and Weird Science. What happens after her seductive prelude? You’ll be able to see on Sunday.
Watch trailer previews of nine highly anticipated movies for the first time: Alice in Wonderland, Wolfman, Robin Hood, Despicable Me, The Last Airbender, Shutter Island, Iron Man 2, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, and Toy Story 3.

You oughta know:

  Sing along.
Get on your feet for a rousing start. Queen Latifah will belt out America the Beautiful while Carrie Underwood tackles the national anthem. And who’s on the halftime show? That’s right, The Who. You’ll be psyched for some classic rock, but really hoping for no wardrobe malfunctions from Pete Townshend. Seriously.
  Sleep in.
Since school bus drivers had a tough time getting to work at 5:30 a.m. after Indianapolis’ last Super Bowl, public schools there will have a two-hour delay. Next up? Making Super Bowl Monday a national holiday.
  Court of a field.
Judges in New Orleans think their people need a little more time, too. One granted a continuance on a case set for Monday. The statement? “Considering the historic victory of the New Orleans Saints, the court finds that the trial will not be able to proceed as originally scheduled. The court takes judicial notice that Saintsmania permeates the city of New Orleans.” That’s right. He said “Saintsmania.”
  Speak up.
Don’t just call it Creole, one of the most common dialects in New Orleans Parishes (burbs, basically) is called the Yat dialect, derived from the greeting “where y’at.”
  The big blank.
New Orleans is often called the big easy, a nickname said to have been coined in contrast to New York’s big apple, referring to the laid back, jazzy lifestyle there.
  Find your center.
Indianapolis is the only American capital to be located at the exact center of its state.

Just the facts:

  Dog gone it.
Often called “the Aint’s,” the Saints will be the underdog which, despite the nickname, they aren’t used to. In the last three seasons (that’s 50 games) New Orleans has been the underdog just 10 times. Ironically, one of those was against the Colts (who won 41-10) back in 2007.
  On the road.
Don’t worry, Super Bowl XLIV will be broadcast in 232 countries and territories, in 34 languages. You couldn’t miss it if you tried.
  Ancient history.The Colts have been in three super bowls (1968, 1971 and 2006). They were Baltimore’s team for those first two before coming to Indianapolis and the AFC.
  Goose egg.
The Saints are marching in to their first ever super bowl this year.
  We’re #1.
This game will be the first one played by both of the season’s number one seeds since super bowl XXVIII (16 years ago).


line of scrimmage: An imaginary line stretching the width of the field that separates the two teams. this is where each play begins. Don’t worry, CBS will animate one so you can follow along.
audible: Changing the play at the line of scrimmage by calling out signals. Audibly, like they can hear each other. Easy, right?
mousetrap: No, we’re not talking about catching rodents, but this play is just as devious. a defensive player is allowed through the offensive line, only to be blocked by another player (probably a tight end) behind the line.
nickel back: Kind of like football’s fifth wheel, a nickel back is an extra defensive back (the fifth on the field) used mostly in obvious passing situations.
hail mary: Actually not full of grace, this offensive play is usually employed when there’s no time for a real plan. The quarterback throws the ball way down to the end of the field without aiming at anyone, hoping one of his teammates is able to catch it before a defensive player knocks it down or intercepts it.
bootleg: An offensive play where the quarterback fakes a hand-off to a running back going in one direction, while he goes the opposite direction to run or pass.


Happy Super Bowl Sunday!

Your JGF,


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